我找错了吗？

从昨晚的“人生的哲学一分为二：前半生，不犹豫；后半生，不后悔。。。” 到今天的“你找错地方了吗？”，想了很多很多。。。提醒了我许多。。。我开始意识到很多事情都不是理所当然，开始努力挽回之前自己曾想要放弃的东西，开始明白前半生，不犹豫；后半生，不后悔的意义，人生能有几个十年，自己唯一的几个梦，也不让自己有机会去实现，反而，做的每件事情都是所谓大家觉得对的事情，所谓在众人眼里是理智的，有前途的路。。。朋友都说没有继续读第四年honours, 以后出来休想有前途，要升职都难，就永远地让其他人踩着你吧！！！

但是，我现在这一切一切，从一开始就不是自己的憧憬与理想，这不就是对自己的一个保障。用了痛苦的三年，做自己不喜欢的事情，来换一个保障，我想已经够了吧！！！我不是在抱怨，你或许会说，你已经比很多人都来得幸运的了，能够读大学，成绩还不错的呢，还有一群死党。。。这一切我都知道，但是，这不是我想要的生活啊。。。给我读到了一个一级荣誉，念了一个博士，当上金融界的翘楚，那又怎样呢？我来了这地方这么久，我不敢说没有快乐，为自己成绩感到骄傲的一刻，但是我绝对都没有尝试或拥有那一份追梦的热忱，也从来没去想象以后自己的生活会是怎样，因为自己根本就对自己的未来失去了方向，这一切都因为在这里的生活，是没有梦想在引领着我的，缺少了梦想，试问，你对未来还会有憧憬吗？没有梦想的人，就会像现在的我一样，想说，随便啦。。。以后让我够吃够住够花，完成一个凡人应该要完成的东西，那我也就心满意足了！但是，如果一个人来到这世界，为的只是完成所谓凡人应该完成的事物，那有意义吗？那不就像是工厂里生产的产品一样，投入市场，为的只是完成自己的任务，用完了就丢。醒醒吧！！！我们可不是已被设定好功能的产品啊！！！我们是拥有追梦能力的人类，人生苦短，为什么我们宁愿让自己的梦就永远只是个梦呢？而不是去追她呢？

自从在changi airport那里night cycling了之后，那一份莫名的感觉又回来了，想象着自己在驾驶舱，操控着飞机，想象着自己，策划着飞机的起飞与降落，想象着自己驾驶舱里，欣赏着那一片绚丽的日出与黄昏，还有很多很多，这就是自己再找的东西吗？那既然找到了，为什么还要搁在一旁呢，是想自己的梦想过期了，才来觉得遗憾么？

一年！！！就这一年！！！这之后，保障有了，是时候让我自己为自己的人生尽一点力了，我不要再为其他人而活，这是我的人生，我有我自己的梦想，我不需要跟着所谓成功人士的蓝图去绘出自己的人生！！！

我要驾着铁鸟，冲上云霄，四处遨游，过我自己卢毅行的人生！！！

kevin costner again! Message in a bottle

After Rumor has it, I think i am deeply into kevin costner, searched for his movies, and bumped into another beautiful movie... Message in a bottle...

"Message In A Bottle" along with the writers as well as Kevin Costner, Paul Newman, and Robin Wright Penn swept me away to another place that gave me the chance to watch a brilliant film with no worries and enjoy an epic romance.

Costner, Newman and Wright Penn share the screen to tell the incredible, emotional and powerful story of one reporter's mission to locate the writer of three mysterious messages that turned up ashore.

The following events set off a tender and sweet romance between Garret Blake played by Costner and Theresa Osborne played by Penn. Also, mixed into this wonderfully crafted plot is Newman who plays Dodge, Garret's father who acts as a calming effect for his son when trying to deal with his newfound feelings about Theresa and those for Catherine, the object of the mysterious messages.

The performances by Costner, Penn and Newman seemed so natural it was enjoyable to watch actors not try so hard to do their best. I got the feeling that the actors truly cared about making this film the best they could for their fans because of the integrity and sincerity they brought to their characters.

"Message In A Bottle" was a powerful and inspirational movie to watch and will be treasured for years to come. In addition, it had two of my favorite actors and it gave me the opportunity to watch a brilliant actress come in to her own.

This movie got me thinking... thinking about my destiny... will i ever be that lucky to find even one true love in my entire life... will the romance of Costner ever exist from my inner me... will i... will i... many will's that i don even know what and where they will bring me to... Perhaps that's what life is... you never know until it comes...

So again... C'est la vie

Rumor has it!!!

Just came across this awesome movie on a boring Tuesday night.

Liked it very much... It portrays what i have all the while longed for... the romance... the love...

Jennifer Aniston plus Kevin Costner!!!

All the while I am aware of the fact that its rather unhealthy to be always admiring others... but i am... the looks of Kevin Costner in this movie is what I always dream of having... the looks of jennifer aniston is of course what I always dream my partner to have!

Its good to have some forms of dream, as long as I am still aware of the fact that "a dream sometimes can only be a dream". OMG!!! What am i talking about??? Obviously I am really stunned by the duo!!! THEY ARE REALLY JUST AWESOME!!!

C'est la vie~~~

Night Cycling 06/03/10

Just a short and brief description about my participation in my first night cycling experience.

Liked it very much. Reason is its held at changi, my favourite place with planes flying all the time up above me. Very exciting yet relaxing, its some rare pleasant time that i managed to sneak out over here in Singapore.

Riding along the coastal line, sea breeze with the slightest yet refreshing "sea odor", its like cleansing up every bit of the inner me. Its around 9pm at East Coast Park, very happening, camps all over the place, families are having much fun, couples are enjoying the romantic moments by the seaside etc. This is actually the first time i get to discover the more warm and humane part of Singapore instead of the all time stress we had in college.

That's just the warm up, guess what's coming up??? Loh Ee Hang! Finally I've got the chance to speed down the runway alongside with my all time favourite--AEROPLANES!!! I just couldn't believe it, i m running alongside a boeing 747... my dream... all time dream to fly one... By chance, I get to take a rest just beside the runway, lying on the fence, peeping into the runway, and further inside, many more airplanes parked at the terminal, its as if i've lots of stuffs running through my brain, but, its just blank... i m lost... all the while i am... watching the planes taking off, watching them landing on ground, its just gorgeous, since i were a boy, i have always been her super admirer, not even a second did i abandon my love for her, seeing her taking off gracefully above me, i see dreams and hopes taking off, departing towards its goals; watching it approaching land, i see dreams and hopes finally find their paths... Maybe this is why i always like airplanes in such an insane manner.

After my still-practising-private-photographer snapped some photos for us, we continued our journey. And now i am on a tandem bike, with my friend Chiu Tze, was quite a pleasant experience riding on a tandem bike, i guessed we talked alot, but i don't really remember what we talked about, one word to summarize: comfortable...

The rest of the journey was just some torchering experience, we rode for hours and hours and HOURS... it was not until when we almost complete the loop as we rode within the vicinity of Changi Airport again, where my airplanes are still there giving me support, Changi Airport... what a wonderful place... the air traffic doesn't cease for even a while...

Overall its nice, pleasant, although i m drained out physically, but mentally, i think i have got some form of refreshing and recharging. No regrets in joining this event.

Hello World Infusion 2010!!!

Its 3rd Feb!!! The day i have longed for since we started this project!!! Longed for it not because I wanted to show the world what we have for them, but because it marks the day when i m free from CCAsssssss!!!

Its really just too heavy for me to have this plugging on me since September 2009!!! Even when I am enjoying the holidays, we just constantly need to think of this and that and many many many stuffs concerning this MARVELLOUS PROJECT!!! Plans, plans, plans, changes, changes, changes, last minute changes arent out of the pack too!!! When it comes to the execution part, my friends go..NAH... this just wont work for the boss, its gona get banned, mostly... or FOR SURE! hahahaa... Until the night before the event, when we were setting up our booths, problems still kept flowing in. There's just too much room to cover, but how? Do it the save way? Or the artistic way? I tried on one small patch of the board, and got some feedback and response, no surprise... its till a NAHHHHH... better cover it with some colour papers. But!!! The next morning, i received a message from Siow Chuen, asking me to continue with my graffiti!!! Luckily I am just brave enough to carry on with it!!! With my ARTISTIC INSTINCTS!!! And of course with support from Mad, Wing Sheng, Siow Chuen and Siyun!!! And guess what??!!! The boss liked my MASTERPIECE (*shy shy)... liked my creativity!!! A creative boy i am!!!

On that day itself, our team also really had a great time enjoying ourselves. The most fun part would be THE HELIUM BALLOONS!!! WE SUCKED HELIUM GAS!!! AND WE ARE CHIPMUNKS THEN!!! Speaking sooooo cutely... then we have fun taking pictures with a whole bunch of colourful balloons!!! Photo shooting session!!! POSE!!!

Me and my super assistant, MR Ryan!!! ==>

Me and my PD, Siow Chuen!!! (Pic below)

After everything come to an end at 430pm, its really... PHEW... relieved... relieved that I am off the hook!!! SYOKNYA!!! Its true that I really dislike the feeling to being on the hook for so long, its something i dont have passion for, I did it for the sake of accomodation for the coming semester, but, its undeniable that indeed, i learnt alot from this event. Sometimes its really not the issue of stamping your mark among your colleagues, getting well along with them is the main issue!!! There are times when you need to stamp your mark as the leader, but you will also need to show respect to them, when is the time when you need to be harsh? When is the time you need to treat them as if they are your super buddies? Thats really something you need to get some good grip on if you want to shine as a leader. And, its also the same thing when it comes to deciding when are you going to take others' opinion; when you need to stand firmly with what you believe...

Well... I am still a young uni guy who is still really GREEN AND FRESH!!! As time pass by, hopefully I will get a better grip of dealing with everything thrown at me, especially during the hard harsh times!!! Cheers!!!

说谎

是有过几个不错对象
说起来并不寂寞孤单
可能我浪荡 让人家不安
才会结果都阵亡

我没有什么阴影魔障
你千万不要放在心上
我又不脆弱
何况那算什么伤
反正爱情不就都这样

我没有说谎 我何必说谎
你懂我的 我对你从来就不会假装
我哪有说谎
请别以为你有多难忘
消失真的不是我逞强

我好久没来这间餐厅
没想到已经换了装潢
角落那窗口闻得到玫瑰花香
被你一说是有些印象

我没有说谎 我何必说谎
你知道的 我缺点之一就是很健忘
我哪有说谎 是很感谢今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不习惯

我没有说谎 我何必说谎
爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎么样
别说我说谎
人生已经如此的艰难
有些事情就不要拆穿

我没有说谎 是爱情说谎
它带你来 骗我说
渴望的有可能有希望
我没有说谎
祝你做个幸福的新娘
我的心事请你全遗忘

30/1/2010

its the 30th of jan now, a day after my birthday, flooded with wishes from all places, everywhere, busy replying and thanking friends for their wishes...

wishes... birthday wishes... come on, should be happy huh! its kinda blue 29/1 this time round... quiet, peace and serene outside, but its sheer entanglement between a variety of mixed feelings... happy as in i m 22 now... felt disappointed i would say for some false start to a game... felt sad seeing departures of my best friend's most beloved grandma...

here's a story i'd like to share, 28th Jan, i did something i would consider most disobedient thing in my life, me n my friend climbed into the tennis court which has already been locked, we enjoyed playing in there after the mischievious climb... now... here comes our super hawt aunty(residence security)...

你们怎样进来的？？！我明明锁了的！你们一定是爬进来的！！！

me: huh??? 门做么锁掉了的！！！刚才我们明明就从这个门走进来的啊！啊不然你以为我们是spiderman a... chiu chiu chiu 就飞进来了啊！(装傻）

不可能的！！！刚才我明明已经锁了的！！！你们一定是爬进来的！！！我就不开门，我看你们怎样出来！

啊锁了等下我们怎样出去勒？？？算了咯。。。我们就打整晚吧！！！

so, this kept going on and on and on and on (while we continue playing tennis) hahahahaha...

i cant just stop laughing while writing this, believe me, our conversation is far far more kiap then what u can imagine!!! ...... but while we are having so much fun "playing" with our cute security aunty, my friend was on the phone, i saw him... totally down in mood, unlike the person some moment ago who was also joining our "game" with the aunty.

and so, it was him, on the other end of the phone...its really some news i will feel very hard to mention it here... while we were so happy on one end, he is struggling to cope with his emotions... how can be life so extreme... i started to think, think and think... but to no avail...

then i went back to my room... shower... and 29/1/2010... here i come... wishes flooding in... n then an anticipated call came in... so excited... we chat... chat ... and chat...giving me some assurance... yea... this is it... finally... after so many years... but... here comes the big BUT again... a sms came in, which to some extent threw my emotions to a dive... and the rest... i would like to say its history...

29/01/2010

after all the nonsense, its a new day, my birthday, but i think recently there are really too much things happening, be it tragic, happy, sad or... hmmm... its just somekind of feeling, like wat jt said 就是开心不起来。。。

but hey!!! i am already 22 man!!! no worries!!! tomorrow as i arise to the morning glorious sun, believe me, its a whole new day, and of course here comes the new man eehang!!! who is not God of everything, but some ordinary man, living to enjoy life, living the fullest out of everything!!!

chanks neh yo!

=P